By Stormy Stroud
When I lived in California, I never realized how much I missed socializing. When I first arrived in there, I spent the first couple of months helping my partner at the time get ready for Pride, as she was the chair of the Pride committee. Once the Pride events were over, everything pretty much came to a standstill. I began to miss the social communities I’d experienced in the past.
For the next 4 years, I tried several times to get people together to do something. I created a Meet Up group and asked for suggestions for events to hold. No matter which suggestions submitted by the group members that I posted, no one would really show up. I was really starting to get a complex. It seemed no matter what I tried, people just didn’t want to get together. There really was no community and I felt utterly alone.
This was very disappointing because I’d moved to California from Phoenix where I had a very active social life. There, I played football, softball, darts a few nights a week on a league, and danced most weekends away. When I wasn’t doing one of those things, my group of friends and I were usually at someone’s house playing in the pool, playing cards, or just hanging out.
Before Phoenix, I lived in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area and had another great group of friends that were always together doing everything from having painting parties at someone’s house, taking weekend motorcycle trips, watching movies on a Sunday afternoon, or dancing the weekend away at Desert Moon or Ropers. It never occurred to me other cities didn’t have a “community” like that.
When I was offered a transfer back to Texas, I couldn’t get here fast enough so that I could be in a place where there is actually a LGBT community to get involved in! But, I had to find a way to do so. Things had changed in the 12 years I’d been gone. What do women in the 30+ age range like to do? Where could we go to have a good night out? I felt that Sue’s was more for the youngsters. And, I was saddened to learn that Ropers and Desert Moon were long gone. I began searching online and found a lesbian Meet Up group. It was a push to get over my shyness, but I decided to go on my first outing with them. Taking that step led me to SOLID for Women on Facebook, and along with that a wonderful group of women. There was so much to do there! I looked to the page daily to find out what’s going on and every time I would, someone wanted to get a group together for one reason or another. It was just like the good ol’ days!
Now that I’m a wee bit older than I was when I lived in Dallas before, I find most bars a little too “young” for me. I want to go dance and have fun, not deal with the latest batch of “baby dykes” trying to prove how tough or cool they are. Just typing that I have to laugh at myself as I remember… I was that tough little “baby butch” at one point in time. Mentally, I will probably always be, and still enjoy being crazy and silly with my friends… just without the drama of that age.
A few weeks ago, I went with a bunch of ladies to the Round-Up and had a great time! There were a lot of women there and the boys were all really nice. I haven’t investigated enough to find other clubs or bars yet, but I’m sure there’s some undiscovered place to have fun and not act our age, and yet not feel like we’re too old to be there!
I am very grateful for the community I have found with SOLID. I feel at home and part of a community again.